Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
