what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize