I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
My vagina is very pro this idea
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
