I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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