Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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