Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
