I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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