i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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