Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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