Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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