he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
