Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
