Soap is not a condiment
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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