"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
