So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
