I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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