I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
