Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
