are you still at the devil's house?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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