My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
