I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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