my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
