He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Randomize
