Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
