She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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