I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
