grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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