Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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