I don't think brook has ever known best
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
