You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
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im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
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You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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