The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
