I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
