I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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