maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
