Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
