i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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