You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I don't deserve a penis
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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