I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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