guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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