so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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