We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Randomize