I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
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I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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