you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
