I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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