Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
