Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
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Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
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So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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