he wants to bone in the snuggie
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
