I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
