No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
