we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
