I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
