I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
