I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
