Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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