Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
