Dual....:-)
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
