i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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