Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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