You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
