i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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