just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She bit a glass in half.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
