so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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