I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize