I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
