yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
