batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
