I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
